Step 1. Connect to Your Tribe

Family, friends, co-workers, whatever you want to include in your definition of your tribe, we all have one.  (Sometimes our tribe is just the people we know online too!)  Our level of connection; however, is another story.  Some of us have at least a couple of people we feel very close to, others have many many people!  Some; however, have people they know and enjoy being around but don’t really feel close to anyone.  No matter your feelings of intimacy, it’s important to make connections with your tribe.

What, exactly, do I mean by that?

We connect over our similarities and our differences.  When you are about to embark on your goals, it’s important to know who you can get excited with, who will understand your struggles, and who really doesn’t care or doesn’t understand.

For example: a situation where I felt like a horrible friend because I was trying to be apart of a friend’s tribe where I didn’t fit in.  She was trying to use me for support for a situation that I really didn’t understand.  It made me uncomfortable to talk about it and it was all she would talk about because it was a major life change.  Eventually I stopped answering phone calls and we drifted apart.  It broke my heart to lose her as a close friend and we’ve never been able to fully reconnect.

If your current tribe isn’t jiving with your goals then it’s time to find one that will!  Join a Facebook group, a meetup, or start a group of your own!  To stay motivated with your goals you should be able to freely talk about them, share your successes, and get support during your challenges.

For people  who have 100 lbs or more to lose I have a meetup group called The Last 100 lbs I’ll Ever Lose for Phoenix, AZ.  I also have a Facebook page and a Facebook group.  Come join my tribe!  We’d be excited to have you there!

What I Learned From Trying The Whole 30

So wow.  Seriously.  I was starting to think I had no will power at all!  I was so ashamed of myself.  6 days into The Whole 30 I justified movie theater popcorn and a sprite because I was doing something fun with my kids by taking them to the theaters.  Then 8 days in I was overwhelmed and decided a muffin was ok.

Wait a minute.  What’s going on here?

Five days into The Whole 30 I had lost 8 lbs and could really see a difference.  Why, then, was I sabotaging myself?  It was obviously working.

I’ll give you a hint, it’s not about will power.  I can have some serious will power when needed.

It’s because I got to the point that I hated what I saw in the mirror.  I hated the way I looked, the way I moved, and the way I felt.  I wanted to change because of hatred…  then I found a diet plan that was about serious restriction and deprivation.  Makes sense to deprive what you hate of the things it enjoys.

Unfortunately, I hated me and I was depriving me.

I seriously and literally laughed at myself.  I know better than this.  I, we, come from a place of love.  To make real change we have to start in a place of love.

So I’m officially not on the Whole 30 any more.  It’s a great plan to detox and heal your body but that wasn’t why I was on it.

I described The Whole 30 as seriously restrictive; however, that’s only one angle of it.  It’s a way of feeding a body you love the foods that heal it.  So, I’m going to remain dairy free and greatly limit processed foods because both of those things were working for me.  I’m going to limit grains and beans but because I don’t like eating as much meat as I’ve been eating I’m going to incorporate those back into my meal plans.

I learned that I obviously have a long way to go to accept and love the whole of me.  That’s so frustrating but very good to know.