So wow. Seriously. I was starting to think I had no will power at all! I was so ashamed of myself. 6 days into The Whole 30 I justified movie theater popcorn and a sprite because I was doing something fun with my kids by taking them to the theaters. Then 8 days in I was overwhelmed and decided a muffin was ok.
Wait a minute. What’s going on here?
Five days into The Whole 30 I had lost 8 lbs and could really see a difference. Why, then, was I sabotaging myself? It was obviously working.
I’ll give you a hint, it’s not about will power. I can have some serious will power when needed.
It’s because I got to the point that I hated what I saw in the mirror. I hated the way I looked, the way I moved, and the way I felt. I wanted to change because of hatred… then I found a diet plan that was about serious restriction and deprivation. Makes sense to deprive what you hate of the things it enjoys.
Unfortunately, I hated me and I was depriving me.
I seriously and literally laughed at myself. I know better than this. I, we, come from a place of love. To make real change we have to start in a place of love.
So I’m officially not on the Whole 30 any more. It’s a great plan to detox and heal your body but that wasn’t why I was on it.
I described The Whole 30 as seriously restrictive; however, that’s only one angle of it. It’s a way of feeding a body you love the foods that heal it. So, I’m going to remain dairy free and greatly limit processed foods because both of those things were working for me. I’m going to limit grains and beans but because I don’t like eating as much meat as I’ve been eating I’m going to incorporate those back into my meal plans.
I learned that I obviously have a long way to go to accept and love the whole of me. That’s so frustrating but very good to know.